It’s hard to predict when you will need to step away. I’ve never been good at anticipating it, but I know how it feels when it arrives.  It’s usually in moments of grappling, discontent, or stress that I’m triggered to step away, without even thinking about the destination. 

It can feel like fleeing, but this urge to move is really the need for new energy.  If you know what energy you need, you will know what direction to step. Sometimes we need to shift into calm. Sometimes we need energy that motivates.  What do you need? 

Step back and contemplate. Think deeply, carefully, and fully. Land in the parts of life you tend to push through, stuff down, or gloss over. 

Step into nature. My yoga teacher Charu Rachlis says it’s always there to help you find the most direct path to your highest self.

Step up and make a decision. Then wear it for a while and see what energy it creates.

Step out of your comfort zone.  Feel the surge of energy that comes from taking a risk, feeling your edge.

Step away, mindfully.  Just stop.  Or go.  Whatever you need to create space for new energy to come in. I stopped writing for a bit.  I felt the need to refuel that tank.  I just spent a long weekend with a dear friend. I needed space from my day to day life. 

And then there’s the Two Step.  I was in a cowboy bar in Dallas last weekend watching the leather boots on the crowded dance floor sliding, twirling, and stomping.  The Two Step is a rhythm of two steps right and one step left.  It’s simple, but requires concentration.  I gave it whirl and it was pure fun! 

When you aren’t sure what step to take, the Two Step always works. Move in the direction of delight! You will receive fresh energy, expansiveness, and a new spring in your step.

What three words described your 2013?  Quickly -- top of mind.  I'd love to know.

On New Year’s Eve, in a circle of friends and family, we took turns seeing what words bubbled up to the surface.  Challenging, exhilarating, progress, complicated, sunny, thankful, persevering were a few.

This morning my own fourth word came forward: Yearning.  Was yearning part of your year too?

Looking back, I had very specific chapters with very specific desires.  I also had an overarching fuzzy sense of yearning that I know sometimes felt restless or stagnant; other times it propelled me forward, even though I can’t name where I landed. Yearning can be intense. It produces energy inside of us that seeps into the world.

This week my yoga teacher, Sean Haleen, shared the yogic philosophy that we are constantly creating, sustaining or destroying. I started to think about which category yearning falls into.  

I believe yearning can hold any of these energies.  Looking back on your year, did you act on any desires that brought something positive into the world or brought good energy to those around you?

How much energy did you expend to protect or maintain something about yourself or something sacred to you.  Most importantly, can you see when going towards your yearnings were at the cost or destruction of others?

Let me give you a simple example. This week I had a huge yearning to clean, purge and start fresh in the new year.  I became more and more intense as I pushed my daughters to be a part of the one-day house cleansing.  It was a very real yearning that had been brewing within me.

My youngest daughter knows when this yearning surfaces and always asks that I at least let her shut her bedroom door while she cleans (so she doesn’t absorb my energy). I couldn’t help myself.  I had to check her progress.  I knocked to ask permission.  On her dresser top, she strategically piled a bunch of her stuff onto a tray.

I eyed a hammer and gently asked, "Aria do you need this hammer or can I take it downstairs?"

She barked back with a twinkle in her eye, "Yes I need my hammer to hit you over the head when I don't like your parenting style!" 

My desire to create a fresh start, was actually more destructive than productive. The only thing I was creating was stress in my daughter.

This is a natural time to start moving your yearnings forward with fresh hope and energy.  

My wish for you is to live out your yearnings in ways that feel empowering, purposeful, fun, and brave . . . to live out your yearnings in ways that mindfully feed life around you and nurture what you treasure most.

Blessing in 2014!

What is your definition of balance? For example, do you see balance as a horizon or a daily activity?  Is it a feeling or a technique?  Is it more about saying no to others or building a greater capacity to say yes to yourself?

I have learned from exploring themes around balance with many women in my Delight programs, that balance is very personal. 

I was recently interviewed by Balanced Mom Magazine. It was a moment of reflection in my own journey.  Claiming to be a balanced mom is not easy, no matter how much you formally study it or informally work at it.  Feeling balanced can be as elusive as feeling your full beauty, competence, or courage.  The term balancing “act” makes complete sense, doesn’t it?  

For me, balance is a practice of creating space for mindfulness and renewal, managing the quality and quantity of your energy and growing in self compassion.  Together they create a center within us that becomes our axis.

My favorite yoga teacher, Charu Rachlis, once shared the metaphor, "Finding your center is like throwing clay on a potter’s wheel. It is the most difficult part of the process, but once you find your center, it’s what allows you to keep your symmetry, no matter how fast the wheel of life spins."

Here are a few more of my favorite Balance Seeds of Wisdom from some of my favorite teachers

• "It’s important to hold a strong enough sense of self  that life never feels bigger than you are." -- Michele McAdams, Jefferson Elementary School Social Worker

• "Balance is not an endpoint in itself but rather a tool of flexibility that you apply as you work towards what’s most important to you."  -- Jenn Beverage, Life Coach

• "You must push down in order to stand up. Grounding is a critical part of healing." -- Brad Yantzer, Human Form, Function and Energy Healer

• “Poets have never used the word balance for good reason . . .  It’s too obvious and therefore untrustworthy; it is also a deadly boring concept and seems to speak as much to being stuck and immovable, as much as harmony.”  -- David Whyte, The Three Marriages. New York: Riverhead Books, 2009.

There is a natural gentle pause to this time of year.

It’s a holiday, vacation, calendar combination that gives you just a little more space.  

I hope your pause has been loose and lazy . . . slow . . . sleepy . . . light . . . playful . . .

I hope you filled it carefully.

I hope you have the discipline to hold onto what you received.

Maybe the renewal of rest

or the energy from connecting with others.

The clarity you gained from distance,

The softness that comes when time doesn’t feel scarce,

That becomes a kinder more capable way of being.

The way we want to be always

and can be

when we have the discipline to pause.

Blessings in the New Year,
Amy      

There is a lot of focus, research, and desire for energy in our world right now.  I am no expert.  All I know is that when I woke up this morning, I didn’t have enough.  After struggling for an hour I had the luxury of crawling back in bed for twenty minutes.  It made all the difference.  

I have spent the last two years doing an independent study on energy that won’t lead to any degree but has significantly altered my life.  It started when I was diagnosed with hypo-thyroidism, an auto immune condition that can completely drain you of energy if untreated.

I have learned what you already know too.

Energy impacts everything.

It is our ability to get through the day with grace.

It’s the fuel that brings passion to our relationships, our bedroom, our projects, our life’s meaning.

Energy is a space you create in the company of others.

It can create focus or frenzy, depending on how you manage it.

It is the pockets in our body that hold our emotions, working for us or against us, ideally through us.

We can manage energy through the foods we eat, the sleep we get, the endorphins we generate with exercise, and I believe, most importantly, the space we create to connect with it.

We can collect energy not just in moments of rest, but also in moments of inspiration, calm, achievement, love, reflection, connection, exploration, or gratitude.

As we grow in awareness and respect for ourselves as a body of energy, we can hone in on our patterns of thought and actions, the beliefs we carry, and the habits we practice that either fuel or deplete us.

For example, this week I practiced the mantra, “I live my life with ease.”  I need to say it hourly. It’s amazing, energy-giving medicine.  When we lighten up on ourselves, there is more space for energy to enter in.  It seeps into our cells between our breaths, our thoughts, and our moments of calm.

Fear, anger, insecurity, doubt, guilt, blame, regret are all slow energy leaks.

Creating a loving discipline for managing your energy is important because the more energy you have, the more you can share with others, without it being at the expense of yourself.

Let this weekend be an experiment in determining what you need to be fully energized.  Refuel and then share it lovingly.