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Withholding Magnificence

12/14/2015

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Borghese Gallery
PictureAzzedine Alaia’s couture gown
Magnificence is a rarely used word.  Reserved for bigger than life. A display of greatness, or rather grandness, that doesn’t really fit in daily life.

Unless you travel to Rome; a city of magnificence.  I recently spent time there. The pure talent of Renaissance art and sculpture that took years, sometimes hundreds of years to complete, mixed with brilliant ancient Roman architecture that still stands, layered with modern day carefully crafted cuisine and design . . . I was in awe.  Each corner I turned had a small tucked away church that within, exploded with fine details.

I happened to grab one of the last days of an incredible exhibit of Azzedine Alaia’s couture gowns in the Borghese Gallery. My eyes didn’t know where to land between the carved talent of Bernini’s sculptures, the layers of gilded art covering every inch of the walls and ceilings, and the surprising creative design of Alaia's gowns in the foreground. One dress even incorporated the hide of an alligator. The stunning gowns acted like the coffee beans you sniff in between sips at wine tastings, when your senses become numb from too much consumption.

It’s hard to come home after a trip like this.  My house sure isn't the Sistine Chapel.  I can however gaze out of my bedroom window and see a nightly barrage of stunning sunsets that happen this time of year. Nature is a beautiful reminder that there is an innate quality to magnificence. That it may be more accessible than we think.  That it comes in all shapes and sizes.

I recently attended a conference on Well-being and Mindfulness at Work. 
Dr.Jeremy Hunter from the Peter F. Drucker Graduate School of Management spoke about the Japanese culture, having so little, that they developed highly attuned attention to detail and created beauty within their simple lives. Think about the transformation of a piece of paper into origami.

I am starting to realize that magnificence can be small.  I don’t need to reserve the word for grandeur, but planting the seeds of magnificence requires my attention and a time commitment that I’m often not willing to give. So, I withhold.  I don’t allow myself enough of a horizon for the projects, ideas, or new layers of me that hold the most creative energy.  

Magnificence is about creation.  Not the mass produced, just-in-time kind of creation of our modern society. Magnificence requires a slower pace: the pace of the artisans who said yes to hand painting detailed frescoes on ceilings. The 
Maker Movement is re-establishing slow, where tinkering has a formal role and where taking the time to Do It Yourself is valued.  

I was listening to the tail end of an NPR interview of a masterful musician (I wish I caught his name).  He was asked if he had any advice to share with aspiring musicians.  I loved his final words, “Be patient. The world is on God’s time, not yours.” 


Magnificence is waiting in the wings. It is waiting for you to attune your focus . . . to rework, to relayer, to come back to the drawing board time and time again. And to know that you are not behind.  You are magnificence in the making.

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When Gift Lists Make You Cranky

12/21/2014

1 Comment

 
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“I don’t really need anything . . .  and I  really don’t feel like coming up with a list.”  This was my answer to my mother’s sweet inquiry into my Christmas wishes. I hung up and felt a bit cranky and lame.  On the one hand you could call me content.  But I had a hankering to dig a little deeper, especially given the two page Christmas list I received from my four year old nephew.  Some of my favorites were: spiderweb making machine to save people; food tray for bathtub in case I get hungry; rubber bands that can go round you and are white so you look like an egg; and a rocket that can launch to heaven. 

During adulthood I seem to have narrowed this exercise to items that can be purchased, and preferably online with no shipping charges.  No wonder the exercise is no fun!  So I found a moment of quiet, took a deep breath, and asked the question slowly and seriously, “What do I really want this year?”  

My answers felt great to write down.  Try it!

To crawl in bed with a smile and peace.
To really know what my daughters are thinking and feeling.
To commit to a really big trip so I can relax and know I’m going to explore the world in due time.
To release old clothes that don’t make me feel fabulous.
To shower every morning with a day’s destination that brings me energy.
To meditate before making dinner so that I start the evening grounded and more energized.
To connect with new friends in a deeper way.
To do more playful things in San Francisco.
To paint with others that can teach and inspire me.
To make time to read.
To connect with my husband in ways that are meaningful to him.
To finish a project.
To mix it up.
To feel strong in my body.
To join a circle.
To laugh. A lot.

What I love most about this list is that I can actually it give it to others and with a little thought, they can give me gifts to make it come true!   Now I’m excited for Christmas.

I hope you find a list that deeply excites you too!  And that when you share it with others, the magic of giving and receiving this season unfolds in a brand new way.

Merry Christmas!
Amy

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Sneakers in the Sky

3/16/2013

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Where does your gaze land? . . . When it’s not on a screen . . . Do you tend to search for a horizon?

I am constantly eying up the path in front of me, feeling the need to navigate.

How funny that my eyesight is starting to wane to a blur right beyond my nose. The drugstore reading glasses are a lovely invitation to more clearly see the richness of my life within the daily transactions while paving my path.

And looking inward, well that can get a bit confusing, like a maze with no marked exit.  Looking inward can quickly shift to looking back.  Peering into life’s rear view mirror can feel like reversing out of your driveway, double checking left to spot the should haves and right to see the could haves.

I have recently been looking up.  Straight up.  This new vantage point is beautifully wide open, even on cloudy days. It’s a welcome break, a clean start.  There is an intense loving energy of sunlight, the promise of space and the free movement of flight against the backdrop of stillness.  

And there are sneakers ~ hundreds of them.  I just started to see them, everywhere.  It’s definitely a city phenomenon.  Hanging from the wires that connect us all, they appear to be left behind and on pedestals for their fine tour of duty. The more sneakers my eyes spot the more I hear their messages:

“Leap!,” they say.
“Forget the horizon. Or the sidewalk down memory lane with all of its cracks. Or even your next step.”
“Try the sky.”
“Feel the freedom of movement without laces”
“Try the path you feel you can’t.”
“Know you aren’t truly held down.”
“Imagine the weight you bare is yours to let go.”

Next time you remove your shoes, let it be a reminder to lighten your step . . .  lift your gaze . . . and find ease in the now.
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Disappointment

8/17/2012

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What is your relationship with disappointment?  I've had a ring of disappointments enter my radar this month; of my friends, my family, my own.  They each have a familiar beginning and middle: hope, effort, anticipation, disappointment.

The end to these stories tends to be very private. After disappointment, there is a final chapter of processing and healing required to close the loop.

The Olympics was an amazing example of intense disappointment mixed with storybook victory.  I watched with such respect for these athletes.  I would love to read their last chapters to learn more about their relationship with disappointment. I know it's different from mine.

Athletes like gymnast Jordan Jovtchev from Bulgaria in his 6th Olympic games, train their whole life to “succeed” or to “fail”, staring disappointment squarely and publicly in the face, over and over.

I’m in a different camp.  I seem to work around potential life disappointments, living safely and predictably. Whenever I attempt to avoid disappointments, I ultimately create them, in the form of regret.  

So how do we create a healthy relationship with disappointment?

Buddhism has a basic belief that disappointment is caused by attachment to expectations - the root of human suffering.  

But how do we manifest a full life and detach ourselves from it at the same time?

How do we find the motivation to fuel our hard work without having expectations about the outcome?

Is life supposed to be just a wait-and-see exercise with pleasant surprises sprinkled in?

How do we let go of expectations without feeling stagnant or unfocused?

Maybe a healthy relationship with life and its disappointments means facing this emotion directly, regularly, and consciously.
  • Loosening the grip of our dreams and desires without losing sight of them, so we can better appreciate the journey while still steering our life.
     
  • Being more comfortable putting ourselves out there and then letting go, trusting the unfolding of life.

If we want to go for a medal in any area of our lives, we need to practice being vulnerable and strengthening our core sense of “wholeness” regardless of the outcome.

The spirit of Sunday's Closing Ceremonies embodied the Last Chapter we all want to write. It's about celebrating our best efforts, embracing those who land "ahead" and "behind" us, having mutual respect for our collective journey and honoring all of our courage along the way.
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What Feels Big?

1/31/2011

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What is feeling big in your life right now?

My daughter got a new bike for her birthday.  It feels big. Really big for her tiny frame.  And she's excited!  I joined her on her maiden voyage this week, coaching and watching from behind as she tackled the San Fransisco hills with her new hand brakes and gears, dodged trash cans on narrow sidewalks, boldly entered four-way intersections, navigated bike lanes, and just barely missed a few dogs.

She did it all with quiet determination, grace, and bravery.

I realized that when we are children, facing something big is almost a daily part of life.  We have fears, we fall down, get bruised, cry, get up, and get back on our 'bikes'.  It becomes a natural process that we don't question, because we know we are kids growing up. 

And then we 'grow up' and somehow we take on the idea that the world should fit us.  And when it feels too big, we try to fit life into a box labeled "comfortable".  We start living safely.  So safely, that when we fall down, recovery can often feel insurmountable.

I think I'm going to give the word 'grown up' a rest.  I want to embrace myself as a work in progress.  I invite you to join me.  Let's compassionately sit with feelings that we think we should have out grown: feeling awkward, off balance, afraid, embarrassed, exposed, judged, small.

We now have the wisdom of age which should give us more comfort:  We know we are all in this together.  People really don't care. Or at least won't remember.  Life is short.

So let's not make it small too . . . what size bike are you riding?  I hope it's one that has room to grow.

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    Amy Tirion
    About Me
    Advocate for Stillness, Seeker of Inspiration, Playful Mom, Lover of Creativity, Still Learning, Believer in Women,  Founder of Delight for the Soul

    Check Out My New Book Knowing Beautiful:
    A New Bedtime Story for Women

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    Becoming
    This blog is an invitation to stop.  Breathe.  And tap into the part of you that craves more space, inspiration, and nurturing.  It captures the writings from my Delight for the Soul Newsletter.  They are personal moments of reflection, inspiration, and questioning that focus on Being rather than Doing.  It's a direction we are all invited to go in, as we live deeply and do less.  The more we focus on being, the more delighted we become . . . and the more becoming we are.


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