Category: Abundance

So you are back at it? It's Okay.

1/19/2017

I’m straddling life right now. Are you? Anticipating the changing of the guards. Two weeks into a new year that sets expectations that things will be different. That I should be different. Not wanting to own any big changes within me. Not wanting the changes happening out there. Feeling like I should rise up more than ever before, while I’m typing this from the comfort of my bed.

Yes, I’m psychologically straddling forward movement while digging in my heels.

My thirteen year old approached me on January 2 and said, “Mom, we never talked about New Year’s resolutions.” I must admit I consciously chose not to have this typical January conversation. Maybe it was because I’ve lost interest in setting them based on my track record. Maybe it’s because New Year’s resolutions seem to take on a different degree of importance given the backdrop of world events. It’s no longer enough to want to exercise more. I feel I should be setting loftier goals.

I love what my daughter chose for herself, “I’m going to do me. And I think you should do you, Mom.”

What a powerful idea! To focus on being your most authentic best self. Is there any better goal for the year?

So, if I take on her friendly challenge to "Do Me" then the next question is, what exactly is my most authentic self? Does authentic mean the part of ourselves that never changes? When I shine the spotlight on myself, the parts of me that come most quickly into focus have the most repetitive narrative. They are the soft part of myself that I constantly feel the need to shape and get right.

In order to "Do Me", I first have to embrace this part and polish it until it shines. I need to hold up my whimsical, nonlinear, no-revenue-making, teary-eyed, chasing inspiration, around-in-circles, self and take Kamal Ravikant’s advice to, “Love myself like my life depended on it.”

So let me ask you; can you fully own, love, even cherish the parts of yourself that seem to go around in circles? The parts of yourself that don’t change? Is it possible that these parts are supposed to be a constant because they are your authentic core?

I’m reading a fascinating book, The Fourth Turning, in which historians explain the three structures of time that have evolved, starting with Chaos, where there is no rhyme or reason to events. This quickly shifted to a Cyclical concept of time where humanity learned patterns of seasons, nature, and life cycles. In this structure, there was an honoring of past ancestors and future generations and an awareness that our lives play a part of a bigger collective journey. With the advent of industry modern man has moved into a Linear model of time where we over-focus on achievement and short-term individual betterment at the detriment of caring for the whole. It’s an interesting way to think about our own beliefs that self-improvement is necessary to be able to plot “growth” along a timeline.

What if we enter 2017 with a sense of deepening ourselves rather than changing ourselves? What if we “go back at it”, letting our sameness generate a sense of peace and wholeness, rather than resignation or frustration? If "You Do You” and “I Do Me" well then we are adding to the collective gifts of this world without having to be everything. Our cycle on this earth will bear great harvest.

This year I will love the softest parts of myself. I will tend to this love with greater commitment. I will deepen my practice of self-compassion and self-knowledge in order to grow strong in my heart. This will propel me forward in all the ways I can contribute the most from my authentic core . . . in ways that the world needs most.

My heart will find a voice. My heart will find the time. My heart will find the courage. My heart will find the feet to turn thoughts into action. This action will come from the inside out: not from setting a pre-defined goal, but instead from living moment by moment with a sense of my place in this world.

From the words of Mary Oliver, “You too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”

Blessings,
Amy

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Withholding Magnificence

12/14/2015

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Borghese Gallery

Azzedine Alaia’s couture gown

Magnificence is a rarely used word. Reserved for bigger than life. A display of greatness, or rather grandness, that doesn’t really fit in daily life.

Unless you travel to Rome; a city of magnificence. I recently spent time there. The pure talent of Renaissance art and sculpture that took years, sometimes hundreds of years to complete, mixed with brilliant ancient Roman architecture that still stands, layered with modern day carefully crafted cuisine and design . . . I was in awe. Each corner I turned had a small tucked away church that within, exploded with fine details.

I happened to grab one of the last days of an incredible exhibit of Azzedine Alaia’s couture gowns in the Borghese Gallery. My eyes didn’t know where to land between the carved talent of Bernini’s sculptures, the layers of gilded art covering every inch of the walls and ceilings, and the surprising creative design of Alaia's gowns in the foreground. One dress even incorporated the hide of an alligator. The stunning gowns acted like the coffee beans you sniff in between sips at wine tastings, when your senses become numb from too much consumption.

It’s hard to come home after a trip like this. My house sure isn't the Sistine Chapel. I can however gaze out of my bedroom window and see a nightly barrage of stunning sunsets that happen this time of year. Nature is a beautiful reminder that there is an innate quality to magnificence. That it may be more accessible than we think. That it comes in all shapes and sizes.

I recently attended a conference on Well-being and Mindfulness at Work. Dr.Jeremy Hunter from the Peter F. Drucker Graduate School of Management spoke about the Japanese culture, having so little, that they developed highly attuned attention to detail and created beauty within their simple lives. Think about the transformation of a piece of paper into origami.

I am starting to realize that magnificence can be small. I don’t need to reserve the word for grandeur, but planting the seeds of magnificence requires my attention and a time commitment that I’m often not willing to give. So, I withhold. I don’t allow myself enough of a horizon for the projects, ideas, or new layers of me that hold the most creative energy.

Magnificence is about creation. Not the mass produced, just-in-time kind of creation of our modern society. Magnificence requires a slower pace: the pace of the artisans who said yes to hand painting detailed frescoes on ceilings. The Maker Movement is re-establishing slow, where tinkering has a formal role and where taking the time to Do It Yourself is valued.

I was listening to the tail end of an NPR interview of a masterful musician (I wish I caught his name). He was asked if he had any advice to share with aspiring musicians. I loved his final words, “Be patient. The world is on God’s time, not yours.”

Magnificence is waiting in the wings. It is waiting for you to attune your focus . . . to rework, to relayer, to come back to the drawing board time and time again. And to know that you are not behind. You are magnificence in the making.

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When There's Nowhere Else to Go

8/9/2015

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Source: Amy Tirion, Santorini, Greece

We are a forward moving and thinking culture. We’ve been conditioned to have a plan in our pocket at all times; our eye on the horizon and a known path to get there. The idea of having nowhere else to go can conjure up images of a dead end, being trapped or stagnant. Why does lack of forward movement feel unsettling or unnatural? Is it possible to gaze at the horizon with all of its promise without needing to chase it?

My family just had a beautiful exercise in planning ahead and being completely present simultaneously. We recently returned from our first European vacation. I wistfully observed us as a family and wished we could always operate in this balanced state of valuing each day.

One afternoon as we boarded a ferry in Greece, my younger daughter asked, “How long is the ferry ride?”

I answered, “Three hours,” expecting a moan of frustration when she learned what was between her and the next destination.

To my surprise she replied, “Oh good! I just love to just sit and do nothing.” At that point we had nowhere else to go, yet we were still on our journey. She has always been one of my greatest teachers.

When we arrived in Santorini, we found one of the most magical places on earth. Do add it to your bucket list! This crescent shaped Greek island was born from a gigantic volcanic eruption that left only a massive rim jetting up from the sea. As you climb from the port to the highest tips of the towns, you ascend into the clouds. We stepped through the gate of our hotel, and immediately were on the cliff’s edge. We felt this dense peace, looked down at the silent sparkling sea miles below, and for a brief moment believed we were in heaven.

Heaven has varied and arguable definitions, but in Santorini, it’s undeniable. You have to catch your breath. It’s the inhale you forgot to take when your eyes first cast out onto the expansive horizon far below against the sheer cliffs ripped into indescribable form.

You quiet to whispers. And your brain . . . well, it rests. There is nowhere else to go.

For two sweet days we experienced this pure peace that entered into our cells, creating expansiveness within us as infinite as our view.

I'm back now, without the view, but with new resolve to hold my gaze. Summer has these moments for each of us: time in the sweetness of nature; in a vacation destination never seen before, or in a well-loved familiar spot to soak in the long sunlit days. Daily life is also full of points in time when we are meant to sit still in between destinations. May you find heaven in these moments. May they teach you how to live in peace, being fully present, without striving or planning. May you feel whole and know that you can rest . . . you have arrived . . . that there is no where else to go.

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When you Admire Up Close

5/2/2015

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Artist: LeeAnn Brook

Have you noticed how often you admire from afar? Someone’s shoes, home, smile, kindness, parenting, courage, intelligence, accomplishments, intuition, talent . . . It can show up in shades of pure awe to downright jealousy. Admiration is an energy. It bubbles up inside of us so quickly that I believe its source is not in your head, but rather somewhere in between your heart and your gut.

Our gut holds the mixed-up emotions. “I want to be this too.” Comparison. Withholding. Competition. Scarcity.

Our heart shows up pure. Inspired. Grateful to experience the other and learn from them. Curious how they embody what they do. Delighted in what you see. Desirous . . . yes. But mudita is at the core of heart centered admiration.

Mudita is Sanskrit word for unselfish joy. This beautiful Buddhist practice is cultivated when we can experience another’s happiness and blessings without envy. Its foundation lies in our ability to see the abundance of life’s blessings, regardless of whether they shower us or others.

This can feel like an unnatural place to land when we’ve been conditioned to believe in the scarcity of a hyper-competitive world. I have two suggestions to find mudita.

Last night my meditation teacher shared his grounded response to whatever life delivers, “Right now, this is perfect.” If that is a hard sentence to form, try “imperfectly perfect”. It’s a trusting, neutral place to receive our present moment and those of others in their own journeys.

And then there is the opportunity to admire up close, rather than from afar. The more distance there is between you and your admiration, the more space there is for your gut and head to get involved. A few examples: when you are eyeing up a woman’s shoes, give her a compliment; pay attention to the ease with which co-worker accomplishes a task and tell him; when you observe a friend starting a new chapter in life, articulate what inspires you about their momentum.

Recently I received an email about an art exhibit. The artist’s work drew me in so deeply I decided to reach out and let her know. And here’s where the beauty of mudita unfolds. We talked, connected, and became inspired to offer a class together! Life blossomed.

Withheld admiration is not just wasted energy, it’s life force stopped in its tracks. During this new spring season, tune in and let your heart deliver fresh energy to others by sharing all that you admire and love.

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Happy New Year

1/1/2015

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It’s barely dawn. The local urban rooster has just ushered me into today. He was eager to start. Unlike most dark mornings, I am too. You can feel this weighty sliver of time. A fresh, open canvas lies before you. It’s a single day, that is just hours beyond what used to be our present . . . 2014. The number already feels stale. Our day to days have been neatly gathered into a bucket called Last Year so that we can step back and observe.

I had every intention of doing just that: reflecting on how I grew, where I’m still stuck, all my blessings, life’s markers. I gathered my coffee and journal and headed to sit by my Christmas tree (which also feels done). As I hunkered down into my couch, my eye caught a splash of vibrant purple outside my window.

A rogue tulip had barrelled out of its bulb and was reaching with all its might. It was out of the starting gates with such energy in its stillness. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It was so sure of its direction. As I studied its jagged petals, energy grew within me too. I don’t need to reflect backwards today. I want to feel fully grounded in the space of today. I want to be purposeful with the direction of my fresh start.

I definitely have many desires, some new, many not. I have some exciting new ideas. I bet you do too! I wanted to share with you a new offering for this year, but today I’m going to just hold it, let it fully unfold, and gather the clarity and energy that comes with spaciousness and a fresh start.

Let’s channel our energies carefully. Let’s not race into the new year. Better yet, let today hold stillness. Let your intentions gather.

You don’t need to push or prioritize. Let your direction for the new year come through you. It will be natural energy, like a first morning stretch or a turn towards the sun.

No matter what time of day, if you missed your morning stretch, it's not too late.

Happy New Year!

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Tending to Life

2/10/2014

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Sometimes needs can’t be ignored: a car that doesn’t start, a sick child, an argument, a leaking roof. This urgent straight forward “tending to” is a constant part of life.

This week I found myself in tune with a different layer of "tending to". My eyes landed on my silver teapot that hasn’t been polished in a year. I took an extra moment to look at myself in the mirror and plainly saw the need for a hair appointment. It was my daughter's birthday and I had a momentary desire to make a cake from scratch rather than out of a box. As I was standing in line at the dry cleaners I thought about the fact that my mother washed and ironed all of my father’s shirts.

There was a time when tending to life fit. When silver was polished, cakes were made from scratch and mothers mended. It’s the stuff that in our modern world can feel unimportant or easy to outsource; able to be put off, not mission critical.

Yet everywhere I looked, something was staring back saying, “deal with me”. This part of life can't truly be ignored. You still see it and feel it weighing you down. What keeps calling out to you?

There is a difference between, "dealing with" and "tending to". They have different energies. Can you feel it? To Tend is defined as: To pay attention.

What if you allowed yourself to pay attention to the people and parts in your life that are asking for care, love, time. What if you tended to them without guilt or stress . . . with full breaths that create a sense that it is time well spent?

I decided to let myself be free this week to do some of the little and big things that I dance around, avoiding, week after week. I worked with an amazing rockstar organizer and cleaned up my garage. I dusted the leaves of a plant. I polished some silver. I mended a sweater. I checked in on a neighbor.

The beautiful part of tending to life, is that life responds and smiles back at you. Your heart warms. You slow down, nurture, and are nurtured in return. You become more connected with all the parts of life that are there for you: your surroundings, your belongings, your loved ones, your own heart.

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Yearning

1/11/2014

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What three words described your 2013? Quickly -- top of mind. I'd love to know.

On New Year’s Eve, in a circle of friends and family, we took turns seeing what words bubbled up to the surface. Challenging, exhilarating, progress, complicated, sunny, thankful, persevering were a few.

This morning my own fourth word came forward: Yearning. Was yearning part of your year too?

Looking back, I had very specific chapters with very specific desires. I also had an overarching fuzzy sense of yearning that I know sometimes felt restless or stagnant; other times it propelled me forward, even though I can’t name where I landed. Yearning can be intense. It produces energy inside of us that seeps into the world.

This week my yoga teacher, Sean Haleen, shared the yogic philosophy that we are constantly creating, sustaining or destroying. I started to think about which category yearning falls into.

I believe yearning can hold any of these energies. Looking back on your year, did you act on any desires that brought something positive into the world or brought good energy to those around you?

How much energy did you expend to protect or maintain something about yourself or something sacred to you. Most importantly, can you see when going towards your yearnings were at the cost or destruction of others?

Let me give you a simple example. This week I had a huge yearning to clean, purge and start fresh in the new year. I became more and more intense as I pushed my daughters to be a part of the one-day house cleansing. It was a very real yearning that had been brewing within me.

My youngest daughter knows when this yearning surfaces and always asks that I at least let her shut her bedroom door while she cleans (so she doesn’t absorb my energy). I couldn’t help myself. I had to check her progress. I knocked to ask permission. On her dresser top, she strategically piled a bunch of her stuff onto a tray.

I eyed a hammer and gently asked, "Aria do you need this hammer or can I take it downstairs?"

She barked back with a twinkle in her eye, "Yes I need my hammer to hit you over the head when I don't like your parenting style!"

My desire to create a fresh start, was actually more destructive than productive. The only thing I was creating was stress in my daughter.

This is a natural time to start moving your yearnings forward with fresh hope and energy.

My wish for you is to live out your yearnings in ways that feel empowering, purposeful, fun, and brave . . . to live out your yearnings in ways that mindfully feed life around you and nurture what you treasure most.

Blessing in 2014!

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What is Time Well Spent?

10/29/2013

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This week I decided to try a new recipe. That’s as far as I got. As soon as I started thinking about the time required to find one, my chest tightened and I headed for my To Do list. Eventually I came back from Trader Joe’s with my usual arsenal of dinners for the week.

It’s a funny thing - how we define Time Well Spent. It’s very personal.

We all know someone (or we are a person) who:

Delights in experimenting in the kitchen
Exercises more times in a week than most do in a month
Alphabetizes her spice rack with glee
Creates purposeful, playful, and present time with their children
Passionately burns the candle of their career climb
Meticulously designs the details of their home, their wardrobe, or yard
Has an insatiable appetite for books
Always remembers the birthday, writes the letter, reaches out, makes time for a coffee
Has a disciplined practice for centering in prayer, meditation, journaling, or solitude

You get the idea. We allow ourselves some activities more than others and the guilt free list tends to be short. It’s fueled by our values ~ what is a worthy endeavor, what brings us satisfaction, how we define accomplishment, what adds to our own sense of self.

l left Trader Joes determined to break my patterns. I headed straight for Bed Bath and Beyond, where I bought kitchen organizers. Rearranging an unexpected corner was a gift of calm. I allowed myself some time to find a few new recipes that felt good to make. Today I finally started to help my daughter with a garden she has been requesting for weeks. With each activity I gave myself permission to enjoy, take my time, and be present. It was true Time Well Spent.

At this point in our evolution, with all of the economic and technological advances in our society, researchers predicted we would be enjoying significantly more free time. Yet our culture spins unnaturally fast on a scarcity model, where free time is rarely free from priotizing, justifying, or micro-managing.

There’s no one right definition of Time Well Spent. However, I believe there is a universal gift we receive in expanding our definition: new energy, new experiences, new learnings, new joy.

What would you like to add to your guilt-free list? If you need encouragement to spend this time, reach out to the seasoned artist, designer, athlete, gardener, or entrepreneur that you know. Listen to their authentic enthusiasm. It will help you be open to new possibilities for your own.

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Ease Versus Wonder

9/22/2013

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I’ve been slipping in the Wonder department lately . . . all in the name of Ease. Do you know what I mean? Let me put it this way.

Would you like your life to be easier?

What if I gave you the choice: Would you rather your life be easier or more wondrous?

What does more wondrous mean to you? I'd love to know.

I have a hunch that the idea of adding wonder to your world upped the ante. After all, “What’s so great about Easy?”, my favorite yoga teacher Charu often asks. Yet often we wait for life to ease up before allowing ourselves to think bigger about a more deliciously fulfilling way of living.

When we are faced with ease versus wonder, ease often wins. A simple example in my own life triggered this topic for me. I faced a ten hour road trip on Labor Day weekend that should have been five. It almost didn’t happen. My reward was a midnight shooting star extravaganza while soaking in a natural hot spring pool. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world, yet I almost did. The battle against traffic almost sent me in a U-turn back to life as usual.

And then there are the more meaty parts of life that you may face. Do you make the investment to get a degree or certification in order to grow in a discipline you love? Do you quit a job to seek a more fulfilling way to earn and contribute? Do you move to a different city towards a dream?

I heard an interesting lecture by psychologist Kelly McGonigal, How to Make Stress Your Friend. She ends by saying, “Chasing meaning is better for your life than avoiding discomfort.”

Somewhere in between weekend plans and life plans there is a space that calls us to move forward. And when we feel we are moving on autopilot, I believe we have an opportunity to grab the steering wheel towards a more meaningful path.

So, let’s go back to the questions of ease and wonder. Let me rephrase them:

What does ease feel like to you?

Could it be sureness, fulfillment, commitment, energy?

What does wonder feel like to you?

Could it be a sense of promise, mystery, stretching, delight, possibility?

Can you invite in more wonder AND ease, at the same time, just by increasing your ability to connect with these feelings? Can you find the calm and sureness within you to handle life’s grind? It will give you more capacity for wonder: to take in the uniqueness of each day; to go after what quietly delights you; to take action in the direction of unknown possibility and reward; to seek your shooting star and feel the awe that awaits you.

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Widen Your Lens

8/27/2013

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We all have it. That part of our lives or ourselves that we look at . . . over and over again. It’s a place of question or discontent. It’s a place of focus, but not clarity. And often, it’s a place of limitation.

Have you noticed the more intense you are about finding clarity, the more elusive it can become? So you take a step back.

Summer is a natural time of year to give ourselves a little more space to see things differently. Did you hope for a new angle on an old part of you while you were poolside, or beachside, or lakeside this summer? Did being in nature help you to feel more expansive?

I always take my daughters to Pennsylvania to be with my family. I purposefully didn’t bring my laptop, took a break from my blog, and went with the intention to break some cycles and get a fresh perspective.

Creating distance from our swirling cycles can be the break we need. But I learned from this summer, that stepping back isn’t enough.

You know those moments when you are trying to take a picture of what’s in front of you and you can’t fit it in the frame of your camera? You zoom out, step back, and then surrender to the fact that what you are experiencing can’t be captured.

A few weeks ago my sister and I took my parents to New York City to celebrate their wedding anniversary. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t capture the immensity of the cityscape, the energy of the lights at Time Square, or the impact of the 9-11 Memorial. Life in front of me was always more expansive than my lens.

I was thinking on the train ride back about the desire I’ve felt to expand my perspective of my own life. I was reminded that no matter how much distance we give ourselves. No matter how many angles we try to create by flipping the situation, there is still a frame we are working within and it gives us limits that become our world.

On the last day in the Big Apple my daughter showed me the nifty panoramic button on my iPhone just in time to get a shot of the freshly scrubbed Grand Central Station on its 100 year anniversary. It’s a very cool technique that requires you to be very still and slow as you sweep your camera across the full horizon in front of you.

I am ready to put down my camera now. Summer is wrapping up. It’s a natural time to dig back into life, but I don’t want to become myopic. Let’s remember to:

Shift your eyes from the object you are focusing on to see the edges of habit you are operating within.

Keep stepping back in order to notice when your back hits a wall of limitation.

Then hit that panoramic button to find a more expansive horizon of possibilities.

Remember that what life presents to you is more than you can ever capture.

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Amy Tirion
About Me
Advocate for Stillness, Seeker of Inspiration, Playful Mom, Lover of Creativity, Still Learning, Believer in Women, Founder of Delight for the Soul

Check Out My New Book Knowing Beautiful:
A New Bedtime Story for Women

Becoming
This blog is an invitation to stop. Breathe. And tap into the part of you that craves more space, inspiration, and nurturing. It captures the writings from my Delight for the Soul Newsletter. They are personal moments of reflection, inspiration, and questioning that focus on Being rather than Doing. It's a direction we are all invited to go in, as we live deeply and do less. The more we focus on being, the more delighted we become . . . and the more becoming we are.

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