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Tending to Life

2/10/2014

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Sometimes needs can’t be ignored: a car that doesn’t start, a sick child, an argument, a leaking roof.  This urgent straight forward “tending to” is a constant part of life.

This week I found myself in tune with a different layer of "tending to".  My eyes landed on my silver teapot that hasn’t been polished in a year.  I took an extra moment to look at myself in the mirror and plainly saw the need for a hair appointment.  It was my daughter's birthday and I had a momentary desire to make a cake from scratch rather than out of a box.  As I was standing in line at the dry cleaners I thought about the fact that my mother washed and ironed all of my father’s shirts.

There was a time when tending to life fit.  When silver was polished, cakes were made from scratch and mothers mended. It’s the stuff that in our modern world can feel unimportant or easy to outsource; able to be put off, not mission critical.

Yet everywhere I looked, something was staring back saying, “deal with me”. This part of life can't truly be ignored. You still see it and feel it weighing you down. What keeps calling out to you?

There is a difference between, "dealing with" and "tending to". They have different energies. Can you feel it? To Tend is defined as: To pay attention.

What if you allowed yourself to pay attention to the people and parts in your life that are asking for care, love, time. What if you tended to them without guilt or stress . . . with full breaths that create a sense that it is time well spent?

I decided to let myself be free this week to do some of the little and big things that I dance around, avoiding, week after week. I worked with an amazing rockstar organizer and cleaned up my garage. I dusted the leaves of a plant.  I polished some silver. I mended a sweater. I checked in on a neighbor.

The beautiful part of tending to life, is that life responds and smiles back at you.  Your heart warms. You slow down, nurture, and are nurtured in return. You become more connected with all the parts of life that are there for you: your surroundings, your belongings, your loved ones, your own heart.
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What is Time Well Spent?

10/29/2013

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This week I decided to try a new recipe. That’s as far as I got.  As soon as I started thinking about the time required to find one, my chest tightened and I headed for my To Do list. Eventually I came back from Trader Joe’s with my usual arsenal of dinners for the week.

It’s a funny thing - how we define Time Well Spent. It’s very personal.   

We all know someone (or we are a person) who:
  • Delights in experimenting in the kitchen
  • Exercises more times in a week than most do in a month
  • Alphabetizes her spice rack with glee
  • Creates purposeful, playful, and present time with their children
  • Passionately burns the candle of their career climb
  • Meticulously designs the details of their home, their wardrobe, or yard
  • Has an insatiable appetite for books
  • Always remembers the birthday, writes the letter, reaches out, makes time for a coffee
  • Has a disciplined practice for centering in prayer, meditation, journaling, or solitude

You get the idea.  We allow ourselves some activities more than others and the guilt free list tends to be short.  It’s fueled by our values ~ what is a worthy endeavor, what brings us satisfaction, how we define accomplishment, what adds to our own sense of self.

l left Trader Joes determined to break my patterns.  I headed straight for Bed Bath and Beyond, where I bought kitchen organizers.  Rearranging an unexpected corner was a gift of calm. I allowed myself some time to find a few new recipes that felt good to make. Today I finally started to help my daughter with a garden she has been requesting for weeks.  With each activity I gave myself permission to enjoy, take my time, and be present.  It was true Time Well Spent.

At this point in our evolution, with all of the economic and technological advances in our society, researchers predicted we would be enjoying significantly more free time.  Yet our culture spins unnaturally fast on a scarcity model, where free time is rarely free from priotizing, justifying, or micro-managing.

There’s no one right definition of Time Well Spent.  However, I believe there is a universal gift we receive in expanding our definition: new energy, new experiences, new learnings, new joy.

What would you like to add to your guilt-free list?  If you need encouragement to spend this time, reach out to the seasoned artist, designer, athlete, gardener, or entrepreneur that you know.  Listen to their authentic enthusiasm.  It will help you be open to new possibilities for your own.
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What do you want to do?

5/9/2012

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Do you know what you’d like to do on Mother's Day?  Have you asked for it?  Let me help . . .

I would like to rest.

I would like to be cared for by others.

I would like a delicious meal not prepared in my kitchen.

I would like something a tad indulgent.

I would like space to connect with myself.

I would like to play.

I would like to end the day feeling deep happiness, physically stretched and pampered, newly inspired, and energized.

Whatever the perfect day may be for you, create it!  Ask for it!  Allow it to happen!
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Open the Gift of your Own Desires

8/28/2011

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If this day were completely yours to design, what would you do?

Last weekend was my birthday and I was given that exact gift. As the days whittled down to hours, I continued to struggle with my answer and my frustration grew.  Why don't I know what I want! Can you relate?   Here’s what I think:

Desires can feel distant:  We are not taught to tune into or give into our desires.  We are taught to be responsible. To be good.  To think of others.  To live in moderation.

Desires can feel selfish:  Desires are often attached to guilt.   That would be too indulgent.  What is the impact to others?  I’m not worthy.  I need to be productive.

Desires can feel stressful:  Even when we have clear desires, our time is so precious that we can feel paralyzed by options.  We operate out of a scarcity model, not getting enough sleep, exercise, time with our family or friends, time with ourselves.  Desire comes with pressure to make the ‘right’ decision.

It can be easier to ignore desires, but they are important.  True desires are not knee jerk reactions ~ they come from deep within and are whispers from our most authentic self, telling us what we need to feel inspired . . . .to feel balanced . . .to feel at peace.  Try using your next free hour or two this weekend to tap into this place of wisdom.

Be still . . .  breathe and wait for your desires to surface.  

Let go . . .  of the need to do the right thing, to be logical, to be in control.  Just listen and then act.  And if you need help to make it happen, ask for it!

Make the time . . . it’s an investment.  Any day that you are ready to make a desire a priority, it is ready to deliver the gift of fulfillment, fresh energy, and joy wrapped in a silver bow.

And it doesn’t have to be your birthday. 
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Get Caught in the Act

6/20/2011

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Do you ever feel like you have to keep your rare indulgences a secret?  Why do we feel like reporting our pleasure is less honorable than reporting our aches?

Last week I took my daughters to the dentist and boldly asked if it would be all right if I ran a quick errand.  "Sure.  Just be back in 30 minutes," I was told.

So for the first time ever, I left my two girls, mouths wide open, watching High School Musical on the ceiling, and dashed to Nordstroms.  I ran straight to the make up counter to buy one item.  Then the question came, "Is there anything else I can do for you?  Do you have time to play?" . . . .

Before I knew it, I was getting "smokey eyes". I intently learned about the many steps required for the look I'm sure will be passe before I ever try it. I glanced at my watch. Who knew smokey eyes took 20 minutes!Looking overly fabulous for 9:30 am, I raced back to the dentist exactly nine minutes late. They still recognized me,

"Mrs. Tirion, we tried calling, but couldn't reach you.  We were hoping to do a procedure . . . "Both of my girls were patiently propped on their chairs examining my eyes and my words as I apologized.  And as we left the office, I realized I had a choice to make.  I chose to honor pleasure.

"Mommy was offered a gift.  I learned something new.  And I feel pretty.  What do you think?" 

I am inviting you to take a little extra time for yourself, even nine minutes. And then tell somebody about it!  Plant the seed in others.

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    Amy Tirion
    About Me
    Advocate for Stillness, Seeker of Inspiration, Playful Mom, Lover of Creativity, Still Learning, Believer in Women,  Founder of Delight for the Soul

    Check Out My New Book Knowing Beautiful:
    A New Bedtime Story for Women

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    Becoming
    This blog is an invitation to stop.  Breathe.  And tap into the part of you that craves more space, inspiration, and nurturing.  It captures the writings from my Delight for the Soul Newsletter.  They are personal moments of reflection, inspiration, and questioning that focus on Being rather than Doing.  It's a direction we are all invited to go in, as we live deeply and do less.  The more we focus on being, the more delighted we become . . . and the more becoming we are.


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