If this day were completely yours to design, what would you do?

Last weekend was my birthday and I was given that exact gift. As the days whittled down to hours, I continued to struggle with my answer and my frustration grew.  Why don't I know what I want! Can you relate?   Here’s what I think:

Desires can feel distant:  We are not taught to tune into or give into our desires.  We are taught to be responsible. To be good.  To think of others.  To live in moderation.

Desires can feel selfish:  Desires are often attached to guilt.   That would be too indulgent.  What is the impact to others?  I’m not worthy.  I need to be productive.

Desires can feel stressful:  Even when we have clear desires, our time is so precious that we can feel paralyzed by options.  We operate out of a scarcity model, not getting enough sleep, exercise, time with our family or friends, time with ourselves.  Desire comes with pressure to make the ‘right’ decision.

It can be easier to ignore desires, but they are important.  True desires are not knee jerk reactions ~ they come from deep within and are whispers from our most authentic self, telling us what we need to feel inspired . . . .to feel balanced . . .to feel at peace.  Try using your next free hour or two this weekend to tap into this place of wisdom.

Be still . . .  breathe and wait for your desires to surface.  

Let go . . .  of the need to do the right thing, to be logical, to be in control.  Just listen and then act.  And if you need help to make it happen, ask for it!

Make the time . . . it’s an investment.  Any day that you are ready to make a desire a priority, it is ready to deliver the gift of fulfillment, fresh energy, and joy wrapped in a silver bow.

And it doesn’t have to be your birthday. 

Do you ever feel like you have to keep your rare indulgences a secret?  Why do we feel like reporting our pleasure is less honorable than reporting our aches?

Last week I took my daughters to the dentist and boldly asked if it would be all right if I ran a quick errand.  "Sure.  Just be back in 30 minutes," I was told.

So for the first time ever, I left my two girls, mouths wide open, watching High School Musical on the ceiling, and dashed to Nordstroms.  I ran straight to the make up counter to buy one item.  Then the question came, "Is there anything else I can do for you?  Do you have time to play?" . . . .

Before I knew it, I was getting "smokey eyes". I intently learned about the many steps required for the look I'm sure will be passe before I ever try it. I glanced at my watch. Who knew smokey eyes took 20 minutes!Looking overly fabulous for 9:30 am, I raced back to the dentist exactly nine minutes late. They still recognized me,

"Mrs. Tirion, we tried calling, but couldn't reach you.  We were hoping to do a procedure . . . "Both of my girls were patiently propped on their chairs examining my eyes and my words as I apologized.  And as we left the office, I realized I had a choice to make.  I chose to honor pleasure.

"Mommy was offered a gift.  I learned something new.  And I feel pretty.  What do you think?" 

I am inviting you to take a little extra time for yourself, even nine minutes. And then tell somebody about it!  Plant the seed in others.

There are times in life when we look through a microscope to analyze and select the right experience for ourselves.  It may be when we pick a college, a mate, or a job.  

My family is searching for the best final home for my 95 year old grandmother, while at the same time I am trying to find the best middle school for my daughter.  And it dawned on me that somewhere between age 10 and 95 there are many moments when we turn on cruise control.

How might life be different if I regularly evaluated it with the same microscope of questions that I'm applying to this crazy school tour process we go through, raising our children in San Francisco:

Does my environment stimulate learning?

Am I inspired to be my fullest self?

Is there time built into my week to be creative, physical, and intellectual?

Does my peer group bring out the best in me?

Who are my teachers?

What time does my day start and end?

Am I encouraged to take risks and make mistakes?

Do I get a hot lunch?

Am I able to be myself?

I'm interested ~ What is your list?  How is life measuring up . . . what selections can you make to fine tune it? 

I bought my husband an appointment at a sleep clinic for Valentine's Day.  Seriously.  We are going on the 15th.  I am sure he has Periodic Limb Movement Disorder.  In laymen's terms:  every 30 seconds, almost every night, he kicks me.

We need this appointment because I think he doesn't sleep well.  I know I don't.  So it was the best gift I could think of, for both of us.

What do those you love really need? 

What is the kindest gift you could give yourself?  

A shut door with no interruptions until noon?  Honest feedback from a friend?  Less wine?  More time for connections beyond email?  An apology that's been weighing you down? Time in nature?

I invite you not to think big or clever this Valentine's day.  Think real.  And start with you.