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Balance

7/5/2013

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What is your definition of balance? For example, do you see balance as a horizon or a daily activity?  Is it a feeling or a technique?  Is it more about saying no to others or building a greater capacity to say yes to yourself?

I have learned from exploring themes around balance with many women in my Delight programs, that balance is very personal. 

I was recently interviewed by Balanced Mom Magazine. It was a moment of reflection in my own journey.  Claiming to be a balanced mom is not easy, no matter how much you formally study it or informally work at it.  Feeling balanced can be as elusive as feeling your full beauty, competence, or courage.  The term balancing “act” makes complete sense, doesn’t it?  

For me, balance is a practice of creating space for mindfulness and renewal, managing the quality and quantity of your energy and growing in self compassion.  Together they create a center within us that becomes our axis.

My favorite yoga teacher, Charu Rachlis, once shared the metaphor, "Finding your center is like throwing clay on a potter’s wheel. It is the most difficult part of the process, but once you find your center, it’s what allows you to keep your symmetry, no matter how fast the wheel of life spins."
Here are a few more of my favorite Balance Seeds of Wisdom from some of my favorite teachers
  • "It’s important to hold a strong enough sense of self  that life never feels bigger than you are." -- Michele McAdams, Jefferson Elementary School Social Worker
  • "Balance is not an endpoint in itself but rather a tool of flexibility that you apply as you work towards what’s most important to you."  -- Jenn Beverage, Life Coach
  • "You must push down in order to stand up. Grounding is a critical part of healing." -- Brad Yantzer, Human Form, Function and Energy Healer
  • “Poets have never used the word balance for good reason . . .  It’s too obvious and therefore untrustworthy; it is also a deadly boring concept and seems to speak as much to being stuck and immovable, as much as harmony.”  -- David Whyte, The Three Marriages. New York: Riverhead Books, 2009.
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Scattered

4/2/2013

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It started with trying to drive my daughter to school with my contacts in the wrong eyes, capped with needing to open the refrigerator three times to get out the salmon for dinner (never seemed to grab the right thing), and ended with my daughter finally finding my cell phone on the trampoline. Go figure.

It was truly a Give a Pig a Pancake, attention deficit, perimenopausal day.  I don’t imagine I’m alone.

Haven’t we all perfected the state of Scattered with increasing life responsibility, logistics overload, lack of sleep, the downpour of social media, and imploding inboxes.

Then there are our hormones. How do we distinguish the cause of Scattered among the possible symptoms of:
  • “Decreased alertness” from our monthly cycle
  • “Difficulty concentrating and memory lapses” during our path to menopause
  • “The inability to cope with stress and fuzzy thinking” from adrenal fatigue
  • “Impaired working and spacial memory” of chronic stress
  • “Mental fog”, an official symptom of thyroid disfunction, (my personal favorite)
There’s no escaping it!

I know you know this already but as the week continues let’s try to commit it to memory (not an easy task):
  • It’s not a personal problem. It’s societal.
  • It’s okay to stop.  Literally stop.
  • You don’t have to hide when you stop.  You can actually tell your boss, your team, your family what you need. They usually see your short circuit coming way before you do.
  • Feeling guilty when you stop is personal. It’s between you and your superwoman self.  No one can squash that feeling but you.
  • It doesn’t take much. Five minutes ~ set the timer, often.
  • Know what works. Cleaning out your inbox on your “break” doesn’t. Grounding requires going inward, shutting out stimuli, finding stillness, shifting your breath. Try literally getting grounded horizontally. Conference room floors work too!
  • Be the change: a cliche, but true. Model the self care that the world needs.  Be courageous at work.  Teach your children the life skill of self monitoring and self care by example.

Today I’m ready for more focus, more tasks, more clarity.  I know another wave of Scattered will arrive in the future.  I also know the more often we identify Scattered, care for Scattered, and give it the space and pace to dissipate, the faster we get back on track.  

By track, I don’t mean the treadmill.  I mean a conscious path of self compassion and resilience.

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I hope you filled it carefully

1/11/2013

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There is a natural gentle pause to this time of year.

It’s a holiday, vacation, calendar combination that gives you just a little more space.  

I hope your pause has been loose and lazy . . . slow . . . sleepy . . . light . . . playful . . .

I hope you filled it carefully.

I hope you have the discipline to hold onto what you received.

Maybe the renewal of rest

or the energy from connecting with others.

The clarity you gained from distance,

The softness that comes when time doesn’t feel scarce,

That becomes a kinder more capable way of being.

The way we want to be always

and can be

when we have the discipline to pause.

Blessings in the New Year,
Amy      
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Go Easy

12/11/2012

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It’s happening.  The holiday spin.  This time of year can be a mixed bag.  There are lovely traditions, more parties, more to dos, more hope for goodwill on earth, more connection with others.  And often, there is less connection with ourselves.

When you feel disconnected, the intensity of life, in all of its imbalance, pressure, and pace takes over.  I invite you this year to use your light-filled tree, or the trees you see smiling in the windows of others, as a constant invitation to reconnect with yourself.  A favorite Mary Oliver poem came to mind as my family decorated our tree this weekend.  Read it very slowly, preferably out loud.  Let it be your mantra for this season. “Go easy.  Be filled with light. Shine.”

Joy and Peace,
Amy
When I am Among the Trees
By Mary Oliver, Thirst

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness,
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."
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A Balanced Life Diet

2/4/2012

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What’s your definition of "balanced"?  There are a lot of “right” answers out there . . . the right food servings, the optimal hours of sleep, the recommended amount of exercise, the standard 40 hour work week, how much TV is bad, how much wine is good, etc.

Some ideals are indoctrinated into our culture, some change with new science or new administration. The food pyramid is now becoming a plate . . . maybe of donuts and teriyaki!

Growing up, few of us were ever taught how to tap into our place of calibration.  Instead we became part of the "clean plate club".  I know I’m still an honorary member at times, forcing down what life serves me without checking in to understand my own hunger.

Deep down we all have the wisdom and intuition to know what we need to feel balanced.  I invite you to think about what nutrients will help you to feel more balanced, remembering that sometimes the shift of weight in our lives can change by the day or by the hour.

Do you need to have more structure . . . or more freedom?

To take more risks  . . . or to feel more safe?

To take action . . . or to reflect more?

To connect . . . or to retreat?

To be inspired . . .or to get grounded?

To be heard . . . or to be open to receiving?

To take control . . . or to let go?

Maybe it’s time to take yourself out to lunch, check in . . .listen closely . . .  give yourself the gentle advice you need . . .  and then receive it.

Bon Apetite,
Amy
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    Amy Tirion
    About Me
    Advocate for Stillness, Seeker of Inspiration, Playful Mom, Lover of Creativity, Still Learning, Believer in Women,  Founder of Delight for the Soul

    Check Out My New Book Knowing Beautiful:
    A New Bedtime Story for Women

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    Becoming
    This blog is an invitation to stop.  Breathe.  And tap into the part of you that craves more space, inspiration, and nurturing.  It captures the writings from my Delight for the Soul Newsletter.  They are personal moments of reflection, inspiration, and questioning that focus on Being rather than Doing.  It's a direction we are all invited to go in, as we live deeply and do less.  The more we focus on being, the more delighted we become . . . and the more becoming we are.


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